Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Why take the bus in Buenos Aires?

As a volunteer coodinator, I love riding the bus in Buenos Aires. I have spent hours and hours on the bus. But it was not always that way.

When I first arrived in Argentina in 2003, I rode the subway. Buenos Aires has 5 different subway lines that I know of and one is currently being constructed. The subway is not that complicated, it pretty much runs in straight, parallel lines, from south to north and vice versa, designated with the letters A-D and there are colors too.

Riding the subway, though easy to navigate for the non-Spanish speaking foreigner, is like riding to work in a night club, but nobody is dancing. Each person is pressed up against one another, whether they like it or not; there is sweat dripping down the forehead of some over-weight fat guy (no offense to overweight people, I respect their struggles); someone is always checking someone else out or avoiding eye contact; and there is always that annoying person or group-train of people pushing their way through the crowd en route to get another drink at the bar, or in this case, to dis-embark.

In the summertime, riding the subway is worse. Multiple the above night-club metaphor by 30, and you might have a glimpse as to what I am talking about. For these reasons and more, I stopped riding the subway. I found the bus system. It is however important to mention that subway Line A is worth riding. Constructed in the early 20th century, it is one of oldest lines in the region. This first subway line ran from the Congress building along Avenida de Mayo to Plaza de Mayo. The train cars are old-school. Wooden benches, old lights, and ancient circular hand rings hang from the ceiling. If you go to the front of the car, you may be able to see the train tracks up ahead as you ride, as well as, the passengers waiting at the next stop. Its like being in another place, another time.

There are thousands of bus lines in the city. Every street and avenue has one and contrary to the subway lines, it is rather complicated to navigate. I learned to ride the buses because I often accompany foreign volunteers to their host organizations in obscure neighborhoods of the capital or the province of Buenos Aires. There are a number of things that make riding the bus in Buenos Aires worth-while, challenging, educational, and just plain entertaining. In true David Letterman style, but probably less humorous, here are the top ten things I have noticed while riding the bus in Buenos Aires:

10. That passengers who say 'setenta y cinco' really mean 'ochenta' and those that say 'ochenta' really mean more than that.

Note: These are the prices in Argentine cents that it costs to ride the bus in the capital. The prices are either 75 or 80 as I understand it, unless you are leaving the capital (many buses do), where it could be 1.25 or 1.75 or something over 1 peso. 75 Argentine cents is if you are going 20.1 blocks where 80 Argentine cents is when you are traveling between 20.1 and 101.25 blocks. I do not know how the bus drivers decipher these distances or how the passenger calculates them, but I think both processes are way over my head. Finally, I have to admit that one day I said 'setenta y cinco' (75) and I actually got off after 30.5 blocks. Fortunately, the bus driver did not notice.

9. That it is possible to get the "black lung" from inhaling the bus fumes that permeate the physical space of the bus and if you sit in the back seat directly over the wheel for long enough, your butt with reach above normal temperatures that require you to stand up immediately.

8. That if you sit upfront and pay close attention to the bus driver, you will notice that he often weaves in and out of oncoming traffic, taxis, other buses, the elderly and small children.

Note: Bus drivers have a handy knack for avoiding other objects in their immediate environment by a matter of centimeters. These 'happy go-lucky' Argentine bus drivers drive worse than in Massachusetts (Massachusetts is a state in the north-east of the USA and has characteristically crazy drivers normally denoted by the name "Mass-holes").

7. That at least 25% of the bus drivers sport 'Diego Maradona' haircuts and even look like him too.
Note: I swear that I have seen Diego on bus lines 103, 118, 162, 60, 15, and 59.

6. That it requires precise 'timing' and 'agility' and a little bit of 'luck,' to board any bus in the city where the bus driver is 'angry.' They rarely stop long enough for you to get on, therefore, you must time your jump, checking the wind with your pointer finger, and hope for the best.

Note: I have a record of 52-64 on the busline 103. For those aspiring mathematicians, I have fallen off the bus 12 times since 2006. Also, in fairness, most bus drivers do stop for older men and woman and pregant mothers, and children with handicaps.

5. That some buses have 'seats' of varying sizes from front to back. You have seats on a flat plain, seats on a man-made mountain, small seats and big seats, seats for midgets and other small people, and seats that were taken from the best national bus services in Buenos Aires who travel throughout the country. From a distance, the combination of the above-mentioned characteristics resemble an abstract painting from the 20th century.

4. That when you fall asleep on the bus (for those that are good sleepers), you will most likely wake up in La Boca.

Note: Everybody, minus my HelpArgentina co-worker who once woke up two hours outside the city in his childhood neighborhood, have always told me stories of falling asleep while riding to work or to a party and waking up in La Boca. I am sure that the cities buses do not all terminate in la Boca, but these stories make me wonder. La Boca is a well-known lower-working class neighborhood known to foreigners for its insecurity, its lively markets, art, and colorful buildings.

3. That most bus drivers in Buenos Aires have ineffective 'right legs and feet' due to a well-known nervous twitch caused by more than 12 hour a day shifts with below average salaries. Actually, bus drivers do not work twelve hour days, but there is a 'right leg deficiency,' trust me. These deficiencies cause the constant "starting and stopping" of every ride in the city.

Note: there have been no smooth rides here since the beginning of democracy in 1983. This is not a reference to the effects of democracy on the right legs of bus drivers over 35, it is purely a comment on how long this bus-ride insanity has been going on in Argentina.

2. That Buenos Aires buses, like the subway described earlier, can be like a night club on wheels.

Note: each bus driver or group of drivers on some bus lines have decorated, pimped out, and styled their buses, mostly toward the front where they spend their days. Disco balls, bright lights, stuffed animals dangling from the ceiling, and occasionally signs with phrases like "Miguel's bus since the 80's" animate your bus ride. These 'colectivos' are artistic expressions of disgruntled bus drivers just having a great time while 'on the road.' I think it is entertaining and adds yet one more reason to ride or not the bus each day.

1. That the bus lines in Buenos Aires are the hub for the cities informal market of local vendors, sellers, and common people needing to make ends-meat.

Note: each bus ride in the city is blessed with someone trying to sell you something. I actually enjoy these people and welcome what they are selling. Three years ago, the informal market existed of random people with half-baked schemes who were selling half-eaten candies, small items, and undecipherable things.

Today, these people and others have advanced presentations that are scripted, well-thought out, and that make you want to buy what they are selling. Well, sometimes. The point is that today it is impressive to see the salesman-like qualities that have developed in some. You can find anything from Cd's to flash-lights, movies, wallets, and common kitchen knives on the bus ride home from work.

Some final comments about Number 1 above:

-These bus-ride vendors and the diversions they may represent are forbidden or more uncommon in other parts of the world. For me, the relationship between bus-drivers and vendors is like an act of solidarity. Solidarity for their current situation and a spirit of cooperation to make a better life for themselves. Yes, I have seen some bus drivers ask for a small fee, but generally, it seems to be good will.

-I also recognize that that it may be desirable to bring these vendors or sellers into the formal economy, put those skills to test in local businesses or in sales, and that some of them may even be just plain lazy; but nevertheless, if they can work, make some money to support themselves, and improve their quality of life, for now, I am all for it. Plus, I just got the new Bruce Willis flick for 3 pesos and it actually works!

As you can see, being a volunteer coordinator in Buenos Aires has its perks. I highly recommend riding the bus, with supervision, upon visiting this great city.

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